a doldrum..

didn't run again. didn't do weights as planned. someone tell me why..

sat here watching the Eng v Mex football game, having just eaten the last of that damn chocolate torte. it doesn't take me too much self-reflection to see i'm pretty disappointed in myself. and why haven't i run or exercised in three days? don't know. just don't know.. i'll definitely be out tomorrow - planning some of that speed work. and i'll enjoy it too.

maybe it's because i don't yet have a specific aim. if i knew there was a race on the horizon, i'd focus and know what was expected to get me in shape and in tune for the day. with the holiday coming up, i don't expect there'll be time for us to organize the races. i just need to keep myself ticking over and feeling like there's something coming. it's a mind game.

might go for pyramid training tomorrow - quite fancy some high-intensity sprinting and really getting myself tired. some as a punishment for this inactivity, and some as a necessary workout to limit. think i'll just play football on Wednesday, then run a quick (something like 6:30) 7.5m on Thursday lunchtime. hopefully the holiday will afford me some time to fit in a few runs. don't want to lose condition, but also don't want to make the kids or Polly wait while i satisfy my own wants.

there's something about that last point that occasionally gets to me. i would always put my family first, especially on a holiday. but sometimes i feel like i should satisfy myself too. it's certainly happened across the first few months of this year, as they've waited for me to finish up the long runs on Sunday mornings, but not much more. i fit most of my weekly runs into lunchtimes and only very rarely need to go out early. increasingly, though, i think i should make that sacrifice to myself: go to bed early, get up and get out. i think my early-bird head goes through phases - this is not one of them..